:)

Breathe in for luck.
Breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race, from self-control.
Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine.
We're doing fine.
We're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

The words are hushed, "let's not get busted."
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"Hey did you get some?"
Man that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close, they can't hear.
So we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me?
So I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember.
Always remember the sound of the stereo.
The dim of the soft lights.
The scent of your hair, that you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock, when we realized "It's so late!"
And this walk that we share together.
The streets were wet, and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it, and let you in.
And you stood at the door, with your hands on my waist.
And you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew...that you meant it.

I promise to remember

The kiss mark on my breast is now fading.

Do you remember when you planted that kiss? I remember. It was your first. And oh how I remember the look on your face when you saw this accomplishment. You had the same look when you were able to defeat the Azuma in Street Fighter 4.

Do you remember that day? We were out on a date and you beg me to let you play the game. I stood elbow to elbow with some geek, waiting for you to finish your game. Beads of sweat were on your head--which is ironic since where in an airconditioned mall. Your eyes locked on a big flat screen as you concentrate as if your life depended on winning. And as the screen flashed declaring you the winner, you look at me with a grin so wide that made my standing awkwardly waiting for you worthwhile. That was how you looked when you gave me the kiss mark.

They say that a kiss mark lasts for four to five days. After that your skin returns to its normal color. After four to five days, there would be no more secrets to conceal--dare I may say--no more shame to hide.

It's such a waste that a proof of love has to be hidden behind a bra, covered up with a shirt (on rainy days, protected by a jacket). My mom would freak if she ever sees this. People don't understand that when an act of love is made, it should be shared with the world. People frown at public displays of affection, the used up condom in the trash or the hickey you sport on your neck. To others, these are unacceptable. To others, these are disgusting.

Oh how I wish I could walk around asking everyone to take a peek at the kiss mark on my breast. How I wish I could explain to them how you have tried giving me a kiss mark for several years and this little one is the first you succeeded. How I wish I could brag about how at the moment you gave me this, I felt your love.

It's funny how you always remember things when it's for the first time.

The kiss mark is fading. But I promise, I'll always remember.

permission to shine shot down

I just blogged last Sunday how I would turn my life around by completely imitating my real-life Dagny Taggart. I was suppose to give more than a hundred percent in my work. I have been prepping myself to shine this week.

However, reality sets in that before a diamond could shine, it should be scrubbed, chipped and cut.

Today, I got my scrubbing.

Earlier, I was called into my boss' office for the mistake of sending an email to a client. I was completely surprised since before I sent the email I made sure of what I'm going to do and checked with my boss. I'm not sure if I misunderstood him or he misunderstood me but now since I'm getting the scolding, I am to be blamed.

It sucks that I have to be the one blamed for the whole mishap. I guess they're forgetting that I would send such a delicate and sensitive information to anyone with their blessing. I am not stupid enough to trek my own way when I know it's going to bite me in the ass.

When I told my boss that he instructed me to send the email--he denied it and continued lecturing me. He says he must've misunderstood what I consulted to him.

But now, it comes to mind that when we were waiting for a client on last Friday, I confirmed that I have emailed the contact information. He goes on saying that I have to make sure everything is in order... blahblahblah.

In the end, since I'm not an officer, I can't defend myself. I just hope I get over this fast so I could concentrate more on the shining part.

Meeting an Idol

Have you ever had a conversation with a total stranger who eventually turned out to be your Idol?

I have been in love with Ayn Rand's characters (Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged) ever since college days. I envy their passion and their intelligence as they run around trying to make their world a better place (without masking it as their intention for all but for themselves). I would always try to imitate their brilliance by making sure I was giving my hundred percent best and loving what I do.

But lately, when it comes to the office, I fall flat in the imitating. I simply can't function a hundred percent because I feel like I've been dragged down a unfulfilling job. That's how I felt for the past three months or so.

And then I met a real-life Dagny Taggart.

I will not disclosed her name because I'm not sure if she would want me to. She is in real estate, selling one of the most expensive condominiums to be put up in Makati. She was looking into our company to provide the design services for her upcoming event that would boost the sales of the condominium.

As we were talking about the details of the project, she goes on telling us about the magnificent product she is selling. A condominium is a hard product to sell. I should know--my mom and dad are in the real estate business. If it was that easy to sell, I would've been a very rich little girl now.

What interested me in her story-telling is how passionate she was with her project. You know when you have that amount of passion for what you do, you inspire people. And since she was in Sales, my bosses were inspired to buy a unit (not that they would).

As I listen to her tell stories about her sales and her project, I was simply mesmerized. This is my Dagny Taggart. Who amidst all obstacles (people's resentment to the project, skeptics, rejections from clients) believes, and I mean truly believes, that she has a magnificent project at hand.

She has availed our services. Just last week, they have given the 'Go' signal for our preliminary designs. And this means that I will be dealing with her--my personal Dagny Taggart. And I vow to myself to always give a hundred percent (with our project together as well as other future projects) as an honor to her--she serves as my inspiration.

Marriage shit

Today, I resolve my obsession to marry.

I should'nt be too much in a hurry to marry. Insecurity has haunted me since I first realize that life in my highschool sucks. So I have been wondering how come I have boyfriends when I can't hold a candle to the any girl sitting next to me.

So, ever since I nailed the greatest guy I could ever love, I have been droning into my idea of marrying my dream-come-true boyfriend. Especially today, we were watching some game show about newlyweds. The newlyweds were being asked something about their partner. So I played the game with Lawrence.

It was so funny how Lawrence knows me inside out. I have questions and he was able to answer correctly. After that, I realize why should I obsess about marriage when I am assured that the love of my life will never leave me.

So today, I am not to obsess about getting married.

I am however, going to obsess about the Love of my Life, Lawrence.

Lily the PDA

I have yet to blog about the new Chuck Palahniuk book I read or the super funny Fanboys movie I recently saw. It's been weeks since I wrote anything. Mainly because I have been suffering a slight heartache from my dying Lily, my PDA.

Yes, it's stupid when one gets too attach to a "thing". But I can bet that anyone who says that most probably have a special and sentimental object they vent their love to. It just so happens that for me, it's my ultraspecial gadgets that receive my undying love.

Lily was sick about a month ago (and just after my digicam died). I decided installing new apps even though I couldn't understand the language it was projecting (it was French, methinks). After a few days since the installation, she went into a coma.

Yes, she went into the endless reset loop.

After that, I left her alone--basically giving her rest so that when the time comes, I can revive her safely again. However, my hopes to save her through mindless "giving her a rest" was not a good solution. Soon, her status button were wonky. And eventhough I hard reset and re-sync without that damn French-speaking app, she was utterly ill and could not function well.

I was about to give up when even the experts that keeps Lily alive through tough times (there was once when she randomly reset without me doing anything), the Brighthand people, weren't able to guide me through the illness. I was about to scrounge around my piggy bank to see if I have money left for a new digitizer just so I could keep my Lily.

Good thing that after the NTH time of resetting and syncing, she finally broke out of her coma and came back almost shiny and new. So now, I have to handle her with the utmost care. I realized that Lily is almost dying.

I just hope she lasts until I can finally let go of her and put her to rest.

Obsession

I am in love with gadgets. Technology never seems to stop amazing me. I always take into consideration the features that I get before I buy a gadget. I had my Nokia 6230 for more than 5 years now, and I think it's time that I replace it with something better. A phone that will mark the "working girl" phase of my life.

So here are my options:

Sony Ericsson G900

It has a 5 megapixels camera with autofocus and LED flash. Aside from that it has Wifi capabilities. It's memory can be expanded to 8GB (Memorystick Micro). It's browser is the Opera (love). OS is Symbian. Oh and it's a touchscreen.




Nokia N79

It has 5 megapixels camera with Carl Zeiss optics, autofocus and LED flash. Also has Wifi capabilities with UPnP technology (I have no idea what that last part is). OS is Symbian. It also can be expanded to 8GB.

So, what do you guys think?