No one can doubt my boyfriend's persistence to pursue my dream.Do you know how many times Lawrence bugs me to write? He bugs me constantly. He believes that I am a great writer. This is even when he read a silly little poem I made when i was in highschool.
Ever since I resigned from my job at the bank, all he would tell me is to write. And everytime that I am in the process of writing, he would rejoice. When he asks me what I will do for the day and learns that I will try to write, his replies are more than ecstatic.
News is, I have been stalling.
All my life, I have been stalling. The reason I give to most, regarding me not pursuing writing, is that 'I am afraid to fail'. And when I broke free from my corporate life, I said I will start pursuing this dream. It's been months and no writing has been done.
Now, I don't know why I am stalling. It's finally here. I have the time. I have the ideas. I have the new notebooks, pens and photos. I tried writing. Visiting some of my blogs, reading on current writing trends, sucking all information that could be useful. But when I try to start writing, I end up staring at the blank space in my blog editor. In the end, I get tired and start tweaking with my blog settings and then calling the day productive.
The thing is, I have decided to face the fear of failure. Somehow I now know I can still live and earn money even if I fail as a writer. I've come to terms with that (I'm not really sure about this statement, but hey, it feels right). So why am I stalling?
It dawned on me that I was afraid of failing Lawrence.
I'm afraid that whatever crap I spew out of my mind would be exactly what it is, crap. And I'm afraid that his belief in me would be all for nothing.
This is another fear I have to conquer.
Well, here goes.
